I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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