I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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