I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
