dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
