GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
