I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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