Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
