Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
