if i can run in heels then i can drive
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
