PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
