Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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