apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
