you're like a bully in the Christmas story
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
