if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
