hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
