Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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