I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
