areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
