Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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