No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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