That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
