dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
