I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
