Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
