he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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