i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
