well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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