I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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