the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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