u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had sex bonerless
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
