i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it's like iHOP with fire
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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