Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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