i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
