You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
