Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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