my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
