we're blogging at a bar
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
