worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
