nut hugger
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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