Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
