in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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