So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
...so i touched it.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
