I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
