Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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