So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
