smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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