i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
