32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
