why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
