Your face is a jimmy john
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
