M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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