There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
