Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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